Miscellaneous, etc.

Especially in the form of a photograph.

And not — I cannot stress this desperately enough — in a photograph like this one:

Features of baby-momma, baby-poppa and screeching tattoo obscured to protect the innocent

Look, I know that there are lots of high-school dropouts in their early twenties who are looking for love on Match.com. I know that from personal experience, because apparently all of them are attracted to me. I know that many of them are bright, intelligent young women with incredible futures ahead of them, who are just looking for decent, friendly people to whom they can relate and have a good time — maybe even develop a rewarding relationship, or spark a loving romance, or even have another few babies.

No! Wait! No, seriously, I’m not trying to be an ass here.

Really, I’m just trying to emphasize that whatever chain of reasoning leads you to believe that including a picture of a man with a giant tattoo of a howling ghost on his bicep who is apparently clutching your throat (however affectionately), whatever series of conclusions that causes you to think that a shot of you in the embrace of another terrifying man who might not be — but sure as hell could be — your baby’s daddy, is a completely, totally, entirely faulty one.

At best, you are only likely to attract the sort of person who looks at a picture of you being clutched by the throat and thinks, “Say, there’s a woman that I’d like to clutch by the throat.”

At worst, well… go back and read the best possible outcome, and really think hard.