NBC has pretty much given up, but CNN wants Kerry to make a surprise comeback so very badly.
“In theory, if all the votes everywhere ever are counted, then would John Kerry win the election?”
“Uh, I don’t know. I guess? Maybe?”
“It’s just too close to call! There may be as many as 600,000 votes out there that could be counted, and of course we can’t factor out any kind of Nazi time travel or circular time that might affect the result.”
“We’ll cover this story all night, if we have to.”