Ha ha ha! The Ohio Secretary of State is named Mr. Blackwell!

“Well, Wolf Blitzer, I can’t tell you how many provisional ballots have been counted, but I can tell you that Vanessa Kerry has lost the fashion election this year! Memo to Vanessa: Just because we change presidents every four years doesn’t mean you can’t change hairstyles that often, sweetheart — it’s time to update!”

“Me-ow! Thank you, Mr. Blackwell, the cattiest Secretary of State out there.”