Miscellaneous, etc.

I have been ill.

For a long time, I hadn’t been sick at all. Flus came and went. I laughed in the face of SARS, mocking those who would have the world believe that Toronto had been reduced to a polite, Canadian version of [i]Resident Evil[/i], where the zombies apologize for bumping into you on the subway and complain bitterly about their provincial government, while picking through the rotting corpses of thousands.

Recently, a sickness came into my workplace that I thought had already made its rounds. People got sick, they coughed, they didn’t come in for a few days. They suffered, as sick people do, and then it went away. Had I played it smart, I would have been in the clear.

But no. Instead, I miscalculated. I became overconfident. I was chatting with one of my co-workers as we waited for the elevator, looking forward to sneaking out for lunch.

“I see a few more people are missing today,” I said. “Did one of them actually catch their own cold again?”

“Yeah,” he answered. “This is a really bad one. You’re lucky you haven’t gotten it yet.”

I know, you’re all shaking your heads at me right now, aren’t you? Because you know what I was about to do, and what I should not have done under any circumstances. But I did it. I did it anyway.

“Oh,” I said. “Oh, I never get this kind of stuff. My girlfriend has been sick three times this year, and I haven’t picked one up yet. The office has been swimming with disease, and yet — nothing. Nope!”

My temperature has not dipped below 100° since Tuesday afternoon.

Monday, I felt just fine. I walked over to the pub with Scott the way we sometimes do, to watch Monday night football and make tortured conversation with whatever bartender happens to be working. As we crossed the street to get into the bar, I coughed twice, lightly, and felt a ripping pain spread beneath my ribs. When it still hurt an hour later, I started to worry.

I was going to tell you about why it was so upsetting and everything, but I just started watching the TV and there’s nothing on it. So instead, maybe I’ll take a nap.

I’ll catch up with you.